The Essay Question (Jul. 23, 2015)

Every couple of weeks, the OFCS polls its members with a question related to movies. It can be serious or amusing, but each member is given the opportunity to submit a short response to the question, which we will then post on Thursday mornings. Here is this week’s query.

Essay Question #17:

As a continuation of the last essay question, what is the worst movie of 2015 so far?

Question Submitted by: Robert Roten @ Laramie Movie Scope

Responses

Rick Aragon @ Rick’s Cafe Texan
While it’s hard to top Fifty Shades of Grey, which did the impossible and make sex boring, or the camp thrills of The Boy Next Door, the worst film of 2015 so far goes to Jupiter Ascending.

The story sprawls out of control, the performances universally bad (especially Eddie Redmayne, who now thinks that orchestrating a successful Oscar campaign is the same as being this generation’s Peter O’Toole), and the visuals drown out anything remotely coherent. Hubris all around sinks this space oddity…but the costumes were pretty.

Robert Cashill @ Popdose
Michael Mann’s BLACKHAT and David Cronenberg’s MAP TO THE STARS were auteur disappointments to be sure. (The Wachowskis’ JUPITER ASCENDING was no great shakes, either.) But I think the quickly forgotten TRUE STORY is the dud of the year to date, a film with no reason to be made other than to fulfill some sort of quarterly quota James Franco, Jonah Hill, and their besties seem to have.

Candice Frederick @ Reel Talk Online
Jupiter Ascending

Charlie Juhl @ Citizen Charlie
There are some very strong contenders for 2015’s worst film including MORTDECAI, THE GALLOWS, CHAPPIE, and MAGIC MIKE XXL – all miserable in their own ways. However, the clear winner is THE BOY NEXT DOOR. The story concept, the script, the cinematography, and the direction combine to ensure a purely woeful film experience for any and all possible audiences. Many compare this debacle to what you would find on Lifetime any night of the week, but even I doubt Lifetime would stoop this low.

Jeremy Kibler @ The Artful Critic
I would be lying if I didn’t say I had a terrible, horrible, rotten time watching “The Human Centipede III (Full Sequence).” To quote my own review, “all you have to know is that it’s the pits, a piece of crap that plays like a coprophiliac rapist’s wet dream and inspires so much vitriol for everyone else.” And, yes, I’m a fan of the first film.

Kristen Lopez @ Awards Circuit
My current top five worst of the year: Dawn Patrol, Hot Tub Time Machine 2, The Boy Next Door, Serena, and Magic Mike XXL

Mike McGranaghan @ The Aisle Seat
MORTDECAI. It’s an abomination, as well as the epitome of everything that’s wrong with Johnny Depp’s career right now.

Pat Mullen @ Cinemablographer
Jupiter Ascending’, which was $175 000 000 that should have gone towards world hunger. What an obnoxiously expensive waste!

João Pinto @ Portal Cinema
The Cobbler. Once again, Adam Sandler hits a low point and disgraces Hollywood with one more bad film with zero substance. Shameful.

Jerry Roberts @ Armchair Cinema
The first six months of 2015 were rough, but there was no experience worse than “Hot Tub Time Machine 2,” a miserable piece of garbage, a wholly unfunny comedy about worthless human beings who treat each like trash and still call each other friends. I’m all for rude comedies – heck my favorite comedy of all time is “Blazing Saddles” but that movie didn’t contain an extended scene in which a man is forced to rape another man on live television while his fiancé watches from the audience. The comedy is at that annoying juvenile man-child level in which grown men talk to each other like unruly pre-teen boys, much of which is aimed at their penises. This is the kind of bad movie that ruins your day.

Robert Roten @ Laramie Movie Scope
Probably “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2,” “Taken 3,” or “Hot Tub Time Machine 2,” but I avoided those films and others of that ilk, thanks to the efforts of those critics who suffered through them so I did not have to.

The only way I’d go to see those movies is if I worked for someone who said I had to see them in order to keep my job.

The worst film I did see was “Jupiter Ascending” a film that looks great, but is brought low by a badly-written script. I saw similar problems with “Terminator Genisys.” And yes, I paid to see those films.

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